The A-list vs. B-list: Who Get's Invited To The Wedding?
When planning a wedding, of course, couples want to invite all of their friends and family members. However it is wise to only invite individuals you can’t imagine your day without. Weddings can be pretty expensive, and having a huge guests list can increase your wedding budget.
I highly encourage creating an A-list + B-list when planning your wedding. This will help you keep your guests count low and also provide you with an opportunity to have secondary options in case someone declines or does not rsvp. Narrowing down your wedding guests list is one of the hardest, yet most important parts of planning your big day. You have to consider both families and acquaintances, parental requests, etiquette requirements, and let’s not forget your overall wedding budget. No matter the guests count. your wedding should be filled with individuals who want to see you both happy.
Invitations should be mailed out no later than 8-weeks prior to your wedding so you’ve got some time to think about your options, but try to narrow them down before sending out your save-the-dates. Here are a list of ways to determine who does and does not get an invite to your wedding.
A-List
Anyone you cannot imagine your wedding day without
When thinking of your wedding day, picture who you would love to see on the dance floor or who you would like to take photos with. These are the individuals that go at the top of your A-list. Your parents, siblings, extended family, and closest friends. Depending on how big or small your family is or how popular you are in the friend zone you can create a guests lists of 25 - 50 people just to begin with.
Anyone who is attending your wedding events (bridal shower/bachelor/bachelorette/engagement party
These individuals are apart of your wedding squad, including your bridal party. They will be in attendance at every wedding event you plan throughout your wedding planning journey and they are a must-have at the grand event. This may be college friends, childhood besties, cousins, and network associates.
You have spoken to this person within the last year
You should want to keep people who are currently in your life in mind when planning your wedding guests list. Usually if you have not spoken to someone within a few years, they are not expecting an invitation anyway. These are individuals that may just call you to check-n and see how you are doing, individuals you hang out with on a weekly or monthly basis, network associates, or family members you interact with at family functions.
You spend time together outside of work
Inviting co-workers can be very tricky. However, you should definitely invite those co-workers you go to lunch with or the co-worker that occasionally buys you coffee on their store run. They are typically more like friends than colleagues. Plus, you’ll at leasts have someone to chat about your wedding plans with at work. But keep it on the DL, the others may get jealous.
Your fiancé has met this person
Remember it’s your wedding day, but it’s your fiancé’s wedding day as well. Always keep him or her in mind when making final decisions on who to invite to the big day. If they have never met this individual., it’s safe to say there is no real reason for them to be in attendance. Especially if your fiancé will raise the question “who is that?”.
You would buy dinner for this person
Catering takes up majority of your wedding budget and I highly suggest asking yourself “would I ever invite this person out and buy them dinner?” If the answer is yes, then they should be added to your A-list. However, if you would not even consider asking them to dine with you, then you should not be inviting them to your wedding event. Wedding catering can be expensive! So, If you wouldn’t buy them dinner on a regular night, don’t even think twice about buying them dinner on your special night.
Your wedding would be more fun with this person present
Everyone wants the life of the party at their event. They are usually the highlight of everyone’s night. Inviting your 3rd cousin who’s a comedian but lives across town would be a great addition to your A-list. He will be sure to rock the house if given the opportunity to make a toast or better yet just getting people on the dance floor. Weddings should be sentimental yet fun, so invite any individual that will help bring enjoyment to your wedding day.
You have a close family/friend connection
Good energy plays a major role in having a good connection with a family member or friend. Put individuals who speak to you on a daily or weekly basis on your A-list. They are clearly in your in-crowd and should have first dibs for a hot seat at your big event.
B-List
You have attended a few events together
When thinking about your B-list, think about individuals you have been to group outings with recently. If you had a good time with them and think they will bring good vibes to your wedding day, they should be added to your B-list.
Coworker
Co-workers that you don’t necessarily go to lunch with but might chat with at the water fountain may be put on your wedding B-list. You’ve probably enjoyed a few laughs with this individual and if your venue requires you to come up with a certain guests count amount, they will be a great option.
You would love for them to be in attendance if space permits
If an individual declines your invite to your wedding and you need to adhere to a certain guests count amount, adding individuals you wouldn’t mind to be in attendance at your wedding to your. b-list.
Your parents want them attend
If your parents are assisting you with paying for your wedding, they may insist that you invite individuals they want to be in attendance, which could be their co-workers, family members, or church family. If they are assisting you with funding please add their options to your B-list to ensure you consider them and not automatically rule them out. Your parents will appreciate that you considered them and won’t be upset if space does not permit via your a-list vs. b-list method.